ARE YOU A JADED RAVER???
-You snicker when you hear someone say "PLUR".
-You finally realized that phat pants are heavy and unpractical.
-You refrain from dancing unless the circle is of rather large dimensions.
-When you do dance, you "battle".
-You learn to spin, and therefore have graduated to the "superior rave status".
-You find out just how crooked promoters really are.
-You hate massives.
-You blame candy kids for everything retarded in the scene.
-You say "the scene" a lot.
-You find out how much better european electronic music really is.
-You find out that glow sticks were cool TEN years ago in the UK.
-You have pretended to be rolling at a party just to get a quick laugh out of your friends.
-You realize how cool Drum n' Bass is.
-You realize how lame progressive trance is.
-You find out that American DJs are completely overrated.
-You have close friends who don't give a frak about raving.
-You think that maybe YOU don't really give a frak either.
-The smell of Vicks makes you physically sick.
-You can't help but laugh when someone tries to give you a "glow stick show".
-You learn to break.
-You drink beer at after parties.
-You quit collecting fliers.
-You have unsubscribed from your rave mailing list, because "none of those fraking little kids understand a thing about raving, dammit!"
-You can't remember the last time you went to a party and didn't think it sucked.
-You can't remember much in general.
-You realize that ravers aren't nearly as genuine as the hippies were.
-You wouldn't mind if that kid with the whistle accidentally swallowed it and died.
-You are actually called by your real name.
-You realize that the general public shoudln't be blamed for hating raves.
-You think ECKO is the sickest gear money can buy.
-You talk shit as much as possible.
-You value things in terms of vinyl, (ex: "that's an eight record pair of pants.")
-You DESPISE Happy Hardcore.
-You DESPISE candy.
-You know what a 303 is.
-You no longer feel the need to advertise your "rave-ness" to the world.
-You realize shell toes are shitty shoes.
-You can't count how many pairs you have owned.
-You know that post-rave sex is aweful.
-You've punked kids who tried to get in a circle that was outta their league.
-You can determine where a raver is from just by the way they dance.
-You know that LA ravers can't dance worth a shit.
-You find out that underground parties still happen quite frequently, despite what 98% of the raving populous thinks.
-You party sober and now understand how stupid you looked when you didn't.
-You know who PRODUCED your favorite tracks, not just which DJ bought it and put it on a mix CD.
-You read URB.
-You have day-dreams that involve the Telletubies and a large rusty chainsaw.
-Your parents gave up on you becoming normal a long, long time ago.
-You understand electro and minimal techno now.
-You hate rave ho's.
-You could out-dance any boy band, any day, while smoking a cigarette.
-You begin to notice how often big DJs blow mixes.
-You think sweaty guys who run around the party shirtless should get thrown out.
-You act like a punk-ass bitch to security, police, and any other authority.
-You purposely wear way too much clothing to parties, because you know that dancing in a turtleneck sweater looks fraking ill.
-You say "ill" a lot.
-You have replaced Caffiene, JNCO, and Adidas with Technic, Vestax, and JBL.
-You know that raving is all about the music, but RAVERS are not.
-You find the jungle room much more appealing now.
-You can actually dance to jungle.
-You hate Feelgood and Coolworld.
-You laugh out loud when you walk into Jamba Juice and they're playing dance music.
-You see guys from your high school football team at a party.
-You know raving is mainstream as frak.
-The bigger the flier, the less you want to go to the party.
-You can re-tell the story of how raving came to America quite accurately.
-You hate Anthem tracks.
-Your sleeping, and eating habits are completely fraked up.
-You're not racist, but you just have to wonder where the hell all those Asian kids are coming from.
-You sit around with friends and tell old "rave disaster" stories.
-You are amazed that you are somehow still alive.
-You snicker when you hear someone say "PLUR".
-You finally realized that phat pants are heavy and unpractical.
-You refrain from dancing unless the circle is of rather large dimensions.
-When you do dance, you "battle".
-You learn to spin, and therefore have graduated to the "superior rave status".
-You find out just how crooked promoters really are.
-You hate massives.
-You blame candy kids for everything retarded in the scene.
-You say "the scene" a lot.
-You find out how much better european electronic music really is.
-You find out that glow sticks were cool TEN years ago in the UK.
-You have pretended to be rolling at a party just to get a quick laugh out of your friends.
-You realize how cool Drum n' Bass is.
-You realize how lame progressive trance is.
-You find out that American DJs are completely overrated.
-You have close friends who don't give a frak about raving.
-You think that maybe YOU don't really give a frak either.
-The smell of Vicks makes you physically sick.
-You can't help but laugh when someone tries to give you a "glow stick show".
-You learn to break.
-You drink beer at after parties.
-You quit collecting fliers.
-You have unsubscribed from your rave mailing list, because "none of those fraking little kids understand a thing about raving, dammit!"
-You can't remember the last time you went to a party and didn't think it sucked.
-You can't remember much in general.
-You realize that ravers aren't nearly as genuine as the hippies were.
-You wouldn't mind if that kid with the whistle accidentally swallowed it and died.
-You are actually called by your real name.
-You realize that the general public shoudln't be blamed for hating raves.
-You think ECKO is the sickest gear money can buy.
-You talk shit as much as possible.
-You value things in terms of vinyl, (ex: "that's an eight record pair of pants.")
-You DESPISE Happy Hardcore.
-You DESPISE candy.
-You know what a 303 is.
-You no longer feel the need to advertise your "rave-ness" to the world.
-You realize shell toes are shitty shoes.
-You can't count how many pairs you have owned.
-You know that post-rave sex is aweful.
-You've punked kids who tried to get in a circle that was outta their league.
-You can determine where a raver is from just by the way they dance.
-You know that LA ravers can't dance worth a shit.
-You find out that underground parties still happen quite frequently, despite what 98% of the raving populous thinks.
-You party sober and now understand how stupid you looked when you didn't.
-You know who PRODUCED your favorite tracks, not just which DJ bought it and put it on a mix CD.
-You read URB.
-You have day-dreams that involve the Telletubies and a large rusty chainsaw.
-Your parents gave up on you becoming normal a long, long time ago.
-You understand electro and minimal techno now.
-You hate rave ho's.
-You could out-dance any boy band, any day, while smoking a cigarette.
-You begin to notice how often big DJs blow mixes.
-You think sweaty guys who run around the party shirtless should get thrown out.
-You act like a punk-ass bitch to security, police, and any other authority.
-You purposely wear way too much clothing to parties, because you know that dancing in a turtleneck sweater looks fraking ill.
-You say "ill" a lot.
-You have replaced Caffiene, JNCO, and Adidas with Technic, Vestax, and JBL.
-You know that raving is all about the music, but RAVERS are not.
-You find the jungle room much more appealing now.
-You can actually dance to jungle.
-You hate Feelgood and Coolworld.
-You laugh out loud when you walk into Jamba Juice and they're playing dance music.
-You see guys from your high school football team at a party.
-You know raving is mainstream as frak.
-The bigger the flier, the less you want to go to the party.
-You can re-tell the story of how raving came to America quite accurately.
-You hate Anthem tracks.
-Your sleeping, and eating habits are completely fraked up.
-You're not racist, but you just have to wonder where the hell all those Asian kids are coming from.
-You sit around with friends and tell old "rave disaster" stories.
-You are amazed that you are somehow still alive.
